Ugh

I had to take measurements tonight for the dress I am going to wear for the wedding in May and boy was I not happy to see those numbers. I was never very happy with my body but right now is definitely the heaviest I have ever been. I feel tired all the time, my face is oily and breaking out, and I am just not as happy as I once was. But I am trying to change all that by getting back into shape.

I didn't get to workout again today because my stomach was really bothering me. Tomorrow I plan on killing myself. And since my parents will not be home at all next week I am going to spend every minute possible working out and trying to lose weight.

My measurements:
Waist (narrowest point): 28.75
Waist (Navel): 33
Hips: 40
Thighs: 24.25

Also my body fat is much higher than it should be, at 28.9%. The ideal body fat percent is 22%. I knew I had gained weight but I really didn't realize how much I had let my body go. When I was competitively swimming I could eat whatever I wanted and I didn't feel like I was working out. Swimming was something that was more important to me than anything else so it always felt like nothing more than a part of my everyday routine. Now that I have stopped swimming I still view myself as an athlete but in reality I do not workout that much. I workout maybe 2-3 times a week. But I still feel like an athlete because I never felt like I was working out when I really was an athlete. Not only do I want to get my body back but I want to become an athlete again. I want to feel strong and beautiful and capable of doing anything that I want.