Swimming, I Love You

After quitting swimming almost two years ago (I can't believe it is already almost two years!) I never thought I would truly like swimming again. With no team and no real reason to swim I just couldn't find any motivation to hit the pool. Every time I tried I became bored within minutes and felt relieved when I was done. I felt like I no longer belonged at the pool. For the first month or so of triathlon training I avoided the pool because swimming is supposed to be my strength. But after I did my first swim in four months I knew my days of being dry were over. I felt incredibly weak in the pool and started to panic that I would not have enough time to properly train for the swim leg of my triathlon.

If I had this pool I would swim every single day.

Scratch that. I would just live in the pool.

On Monday I went back to the pool for the second time this year and had a great workout. I stayed in until the pool closed and felt myself get stronger with each stroke. I was a little worried that after only 200 consecutive meters, though, my arms were pretty tired. However I left the pool feeling confident and happy. And then I swam again on Wednesday. This time I focused less on pulling drills and more on actual sets. I know that the sets that I did with my swim team are not necessarily the best for triathlon training since they focus on shorter distances, but for now I am sticking with what I know.

I was planning on swimming today also but last minute I decided not to, as my arms were pretty shot after Wednesday's swim and I didn't want to overwork them. My arms also got a really good workout during Insanity on Tuesday so I figured it was best to give them a day off to recuperate. Normally I would have just gone to the pool to swim anyway and done an easier workout, but a few years ago I had a partial tear in my rotator cuff from swimming so now I try to play it safe. There is no need to do any unnecessary damage.

Swimming outside in the dark is the best.

Please try it.

But as I was walking past the pool today I wanted nothing more than to be in the pool getting my swim on. I was jealous of all of the people in the pool enjoying the beautiful sunshiny day while I was stuck inside taking exams and being smart and resting.  For the first time in months I actually truly wanted to swim. Swimming was such a huge part of my life that when I quit I avoided it like the plague so as not to bring up any unwanted emotions. But I have come to accept that I am no longer that same swimmer. Now I am a swimmer who swims as part of triathlon training. I swim because I feel at home in the water. For some people a nice long run clears their head and relieves their stress. For me, going for a swim serves the same purpose.

For the first time in years, I am looking forward to the next time I get to swim because I want to see how much I can improve. I want to see what I am capable of in the water. And I no longer have any desire to compare my times to what I was able to do when I swam competitively. I want to see how much I can improve from my first swim in April. For a long time while I was swimming competitively I dreaded going to practice. I didn't realize it at the time but I was no longer in love with swimming. And now after two years off I can finally say that I swim because it is something that I love and it is a part of me.

Being Vegetarian & Finding Happiness

When I was sixteen years old my sister, her friend and I went to a music festival about an hour away from our house. I had coerced my sister into coming with me so I could see my favorite band, Cobra Starship. I had been to concerts before but nothing like this one. There were about 20,000 people there and almost 40 bands. It was a whole new experience for me and I soaked up every inch of it, including the pamphlets about vegetarianism. The whole festival had a vegetarian vibe and by the end of the day I had decided I was going to become a vegetarian. The problem was that I didn't really know how to be a vegetarian. Yeah, I knew not to eat meat but I had no idea of how to form proper meals centered around veggies.

I went home and told my parents that I would no longer be eating meat (they were still the ones cooking all of my meals at this point) and they didn't seem too bothered by it. Growing up I never really liked meat so this wasn't going to be too big of a change for me. In the days following I took to the internet to find out all about maintaining a vegetarian diet. I found out about new foods and hit the grocery store to stock up on some new goodies. After a few weeks I was completely in love with my new lifestyle. That summer I lost about ten pounds and looked and felt my best. People questioned my decision to become a vegetarian but I knew I was doing the right thing for myself.

Fast forward to now. I have not eaten meat since that summer and I am proud of that fact. Yes, there have been a few occasions where I have thought about eating meat again but I'm not quite sure I could do it. The only times I ever really crave meat are when my boyfriend and I go out to eat and I am starving waiting for our food to come. But I fully credit that to my hunger. Now, when we are cooking dinner the sight of chicken repulses me a little. I have absolutely no desire to eat chicken again. So I'm still doing good with the no eating meat part. The part that I am really struggling with is the whole making my diet centered around fruits and veggies.

I spent my first year as a vegetarian eating veggie burgers, salads, and pretty much anything vegetable based you can think of. I was very conscious about what was going into my body and I was still swimming competitively so the 20 hours a week of swim practice ensured that I was one healthy person. Now my diet consists of mostly processed crap that is ready to eat in three minutes or less. I don't want to go back to eating meat but I know that I need to do something with my diet (when I say diet I don't mean that I am on a diet, I am simply referring to my eating habits).

I have gained about 20 pounds from when I first became a vegetarian. I don't look good and more importantly I don't feel good. I used to be so proud of my lifestyle choices. I didn't care what people thought because I was doing what made me happy. Now I feel lost though. I love training for races but it does not give me the same fulfillment that swimming did and I think that is because I was proud of myself as a swimmer. That's who I was and everybody knew it. Now I just feel mediocre and I am not okay with it. I still have two weeks left of school until summer break and while I can't make any big changes in these next two weeks, I am declaring summer 2012 as project happiness.

I want to feel confident about my body, about my training, about my lifestyle. I want to take pride in the things I am doing with my life. I may not be Shannon the swimmer anymore but I am still Shannon and that needs to be good enough. I don't want to dwell on the past anymore. I want to be able to move on and start a new chapter of my life without feeling like I will never measure up to the person that I used to be. I have put so much pressure on myself to be perfect that I have forgotten about happiness.

I know this post started about my life as a vegetarian and there was a reason for that. I want to remind myself that the little decisions do matter. Eating healthy makes a difference in my mindset and attitude and I learned that through becoming a vegetarian. This summer is also going to be the perfect time to learn some new vegetarian recipes and get back on track with living a no meat lifestyle.

Making Progress In the Pool

The last time I swam was a little bit of a disaster. I finished the swim feeling nervous and stressed out.  I wasn't sure if I would be able to complete the 1500 meter swim leg of the General Smallwood International Triathlon on July. I knew that I would need to spend a lot of time in the pool in order to fully feel prepared. I do want to disclose that I know I will be able to actually complete the swim leg. As someone who has a history as a competitive swimmer I doubt that I will ever have trouble with the swim part of a triathlon. But I need to feel strong in the water. I know what my stroke feels like when I have strength, power, and am in control.

So my goal for today's swim was to focus on feeling strong and powerful and in control. I did a quick warm up and then jumped into pulling drills. By the end my arms were burning and it felt oh so good. One thing I like to do to measure my progress is to do a 100 freestyle before doing the drills, and then again after each round of drills. I didn't want to do the 100 all out but rather at a speed that I felt like I could maintain for a few hundred meters. I did the first 100 after my warm up in 1:34. After the first round of pulling drills I did the 100 in 1:32, and the 100 after the second round of drills in 1:30.

I am really pleased with these times since the last time I swam I did a 100 all out in 1:29. I can tell that after 1000 meters of pulling drills that my stroke has improved tremendously. By the end of the workout I felt so much better and I was no longer freaking out about my triathlon. My race is still nine weeks away, which means that I will have plenty of time to work on my stroke. I want to spend a solid chunk of time in the pool focusing solely on building strength and my form so that I will feel ready to workout on building endurance.

Apparently I am on a Finding Nemo kick today

I have two more swims scheduled for this week, weather permitting. I am not sure how many times I will be able to get to the pool next week due to the irregular finals schedule. When I go home for summer break I will be joining the local YMCA since it is the only place where I can both swim and go to the gym for weight lifting. Luckily for me I can join at a specials college rate, since YMCA's are normally pretty expensive. I would prefer to have a place to swim outdoors in the summer but this is really my only option.

General Smallwood Training Week 6

Along with week 5, week 6 was not my best training week. The stress of finals really got to me but I still managed to get in some good workouts.


Monday:
Monday was part of my self sabotage mission. I don't think I did anything productive on Monday, making it a rest day.


Tuesday:
Tuesday morning I woke up determined to make this a great week of training after all. I did a 30 minute trainer ride to kick off my day, and finished up with Insanity Max Recovery in the afternoon.


Wednesday:
Wednesday ended up being another rest day but only because my stomach was in a world of hurt. I think it is stress but my stomach has been hurting pretty badly almost every time I eat.


Thursday:
On Thursday I decided to end my running hiatus. The plan was to do three miles nice and easy, but my stomach didn't want to run. I ended up doing a three mile run/walk loop around campus.


Friday:
On Friday I did another three miles running and walking. I fell and twisted my knee during Thursday's outing and I was feeling a little pain on Friday so I didn't want to push it.


Saturday:
Despite the rain outside preventing me from swimming, I still managed to squeeze in a twenty minute trainer ride followed immediately by Insanity Core Cardio & Balance. This was the best workout I had all week and really left me ready to take on Sunday's workout.


Sunday:
Another unwanted rest day due to stomach troubles. Definitely bummed but I wasn't going to chance heading out with an iffy stomach.


Weekly Totals

• Swimming: 0 
• Biking: 50 minutes
• Running: 6 miles
• Insanity: 70 minutes
• Total hours: 3 hours 23 minutes

Thoughts
I started the week off in a bad place. I was mad at myself and skipped workouts because I felt helpless. Based on how the week started off though I am pretty happy with the workouts I did Thursday through Saturday. Even though it wasn't the best of weeks I am motivated and ready to take on the next week. 

I Found My Running Mojo

After expressing my frustration with running lately and my decision to take a much needed break I am happy to report that I am ready to run again. It has been almost three weeks since I have laced up my sneakers for  a run, and although I was definitely not planning on taking so much time off I really needed to. After running in my moms Brooks Pure Cadence just before my running hiatus I decided to get a pair for myself. I liked the idea of wearing a lighter weight shoe and had read how a lot of people who overpronate and usually run in the Adrenalines were able to easily switch to the Pure Cadence.

My beautiful bright new shoes just arrived and as soon as I got them I wanted to try them out. But I knew that I needed to transition into them before setting out for a regular run in them. So I did a three mile loop in them alternating walking and running. My stomach was a little funky during the run portions but regardless it felt amazing to back out there. I was going so slow that I turned off my garmin and just went by feel. It was really refreshing to not be constantly checking my watch. I want to try doing some of my recovery runs without a watch during marathon training so that I don't go too fast.

Later that night, my boyfriend asked if I wanted to go shopping for new running shoes with him. He is more of a cyclist but has been getting into some running lately and wants to eventually run in Vibrams. We went to a local running store and while he tried on shoes I wondered around and tried not to buy everything there. In the end I only ended up getting some more gels and chews to try, but boy was it hard not to go crazy. 

After spending a good hour there I officially was ready to run again. Luckily for me my boyfriend and I are supposed to go for a run on a trail near his house this weekend. And only two more weeks until I am done with finals and school for the semester and am able to return to my favorite running routes back home!

Picking My A Race

After running training for and running two half marathons I decided it was time for a change. I have big goals for myself over the next few years but I know that in order to achieve them I need to start small. I have been interested in doing triathons for awhile now and decided that 2012 was the year of the tri. But I wasn't sure which triathlon to sign up for. There are so many things to take into consideration when it comes to triathlon, making my decision rather difficult.

Check out how gorgeous this swim is!

First, I wanted a race in the middle of the summer. I have finals in the end of May and then my sister has graduation, meaning that late May/early June are off the table. I also wanted to have ample time after all of this to train. Peak training during two weeks of finals and parties is not exactly ideal. I also didn't want a race too late in the summer because of marathon training (I don't think I will ever get sick of saying marathon). This meant I needed a race in the end of June to middle of July.

Additionally, I wanted a race that would fit my strengths and weaknesses. Basically, I needed a relatively flat bike course. I don't care how hilly the run portion is because i can always walk if needed but I do not want to be walking my bike up any hills. Along the same lines, I wanted a race that didn't have a technical bike course. I am not experienced when it comes to sharp turns and the like so they were out of the question. Lastly, I wanted a course that would have a relatively warm swim. I do not have the money to shell out for a wetsuit, and quite frankly I think it will be in my favor to have a wetsuit illegal course since I am a strong swimmer.

The final thing that really affected my decision regarding which triathlon would be my A race was proximity to home. My parents live in Pennsylvania, which is where I will be living during the summer, and I have an apartment in Baltimore meaning races in both Maryland and Pennsylvania were up for grabs. I also did not want a race that I would need a hotel for. All of my money will be going to the very expensive NYC Marathon so minimizing other costs is necessary.

Ultimately I have decided on the General Smallwood International Triathlon. The race is on July 7 in Indian Head, Maryland, which is a little over an hour from my apartment. The race is pretty small, with about 150 participants total. Both the bike and run courses are rolling , and the swim is in the bay with water temps expected to be in the mid-70's.

There are about nine and a half weeks left until the race, which means I need to get my booty into gear. I have been super stressed lately with the end of the semester and finals coming up but I know once I get through all of that I will be golden.

Missed Workouts

For any of you who were keeping up with my weekly posts about how my triathlon training is coming along you might have noticed that there was no week five recap. Well that's because five really didn't happen. The week started off great on Monday with a strength session in the morning and a 50 minute trainer ride in the afternoon. Tuesday wasn't so bad either, with a 30 minute trainer ride. But then Wednesday happened. I fully intended to do my scheduled brick but then something came up with school and I found myself working on a group project all night instead of getting my sweat on. I was so frustrated about missing Wednesday's workout that I stopped training until Monday. A little dramatic, yes. During these days I was extremely unproductive and just wallowed in my misery.

But my pity party is officially over. I woke up this morning all ready to set my alarm for 90 minutes later so I could sleep in some more, but instead pleaded with myself to do something. I was already awake so why not be productive, right? It was raining out so I didn't want to do for a run, a strength session didn't sound too appealing, but a nice short ride on my trainer where I could just zone out sounded perfect. So I put on an episode of Friends and rode. And because of that simple little ride this morning my day has been infinitely better. I have gone to the grocery store, cleaned my apartment, finished my lingering homework, and even prepared dinner all before three o'clock.

And now I actually want to workout again. It is amazing how all it takes is one sweat session to get you hooked and back for more. For me, staying in a rhythm is necessary or else I fall off the wagon. I know that missing one workout should not have derailed my entire week and then some but there is nothing I can change about that now. I am really learning a lot about myself during this training cycle, both good and bad things. But I am grateful for both because I can use this to my advantage. As far as training and motivation go I want to be as prepared for when marathon training happens because that is when shit gets real. I know I can muster out a triathlon without too much training but there is no way in hell that I can do that with a marathon, and frankly I don't want to try.

So sorry for this random post. I got a little carried away.