Reaching for Your Goals

This summer I have surprised myself more times than I can count. I've hit paces faster than I thought were possible, climbed hills I thought would eat me alive, and raced like I had nothing to lose. If I've learned one thing this summer it's to take chances. My fitness level is a million times higher than last summer and I know it's because of all the work I've put in over the last three months.

I'm not sure when I made the change but somewhere along the way I stopped going through the motions during workouts and started trying to really push myself. I didn't want to survive a workout, I wanted to dominate it. It may sound a bit obvious to go hard during workouts but it's all too easy to stay within your comfort zone. I know that if I want to become the kind of athlete I want to be I need to reach outside my comfort zone and not be afraid to fail.

For the past three weeks I've done the same interval run and each week the run went very differently.

15 min warm up
2x [1min on, 1 min off, 2 min on, 2 min off, 3 min on, 3 min off]
10 min warm down

The first time I was in Chincoteague on vacation and the temps were probably low 70's with low humidity. I had had a couple crappy runs the previous two days and lacking confidence going into the workout. As soon as I started running I knew it was going to be great though. My legs felt light and quick, and I felt like I nailed the workout. Afterwards I remember coming home and telling my dad it was one of the strongest workouts I'd had all summer.

1 min @ 7:16, 7:06
2 min @ 7:42, 7:27
3 min @ 7:40, 7:21
Avg pace 8:31

The second time I did this workout was when I was in the Florida Keys where it was at least 90 degrees all day long. It was ~15 mph winds and very humid too. This run was a struggle but I fought really freaking hard for it. I felt pretty crappy and my calves were insanely tight but I managed to run pretty comparable to the week before. Some faster, some slower.

1 min @ 7:24, 7:28
2 min @ 7:32, 7:20
3 min @ 7:51, 7:13
Avg pace 8:40

Thursday evening I did this workout for a third time, this time on the track. Both Chincoteague & Florida are super flat so I thought it would be pretty consistent with the past two times I did it. Between Sunday's race and lifting heavy on Tuesday my hamstrings were crazy tight and never fully loosened up. The weather was warmer than in Chincoteague but definitely cooler than Florida. Between my tight legs and moving back to school on Wednesday & Thursday I wasn't expecting anything special here.

Before I started the workout I told myself to run as hard as my body would let me on that given day. Effort is more important than pace. As you can see I absolutely crushed this workout. I'm assuming some of the extra speed is attributed to doing this on a track but still, that's a huge improvement! I know that in order to be making so much progress I have to be something right, which is an incredible feeling.

1 min @ 6:35, 6:37
2 min @ 7:00, 6:46
3 min @ 6:51, 6:54
Avg pace 8:19

I have a little over two months until the New York City Marathon and I know the only way I'm going to achieve my goal [which I haven't said yet] is to get really far out of my comfort zone. I don't want to look back and wish I could have done more or run harder. I want to show up to Staten Island knowing that I put in the work and am ready to conquer those 26.2 miles.

Perfection

This past weekend was a big wake up call for me. Not the kind that makes you want to train until your legs fall off because you realize your goal race is 4 weeks away but the kind that makes you realize that you need to make some changes in your life. Big ones.

For pretty much as long as I can remember I have been somewhat of a perfectionist. I set such high standards for myself in everything I do but when I am failing I completely give up. I see things in a very all or nothing lens.

I missed my Monday morning workout so the whole day is a waste. I might as well eat whatever I want. Monday was useless so the whole week is too now. Might as well skip all of my workouts and eat terribly.

Last week started off with a snow day on Monday. I wasn't able to get my swim in because the pool was closed, which wasn't looking to be too much of an issue. I would just move the swim to Tuesday. But then I found out that the pool was going to be closed over the weekend because of Easter. When would I do Friday's swim? Thursday night when I get home. Turned out there was a swim meet over the weekend forcing the swim team to use a different pool. My now Thursday night swim became a casualty of schedule conflicts. On Wednesday I struggled mentally to get out the door for my track run but finally convinced myself to just get it done. Run 15 minutes to track only to find out there is a lacrosse game meaning no track workout for me.

I struggled mentally all week to not throw in the towel and blow an entire week of training. I turned Wednesday's failed track run into a speedy 6 mile loop full of hills that reminded me why I love running. Instead of bagging my swim on Thursday I swam with the team, making me question why I ever quit in the first place. It wasn't the easiest of weeks but I had made some smart decisions that in the past I probably would not have. I had turned things around and was ready to take on my longest and probably hardest workout of the training cycle.

When I woke up on Friday morning I was not motivated to do this run. I had slept in to catch up on sleep and wasn't liking the idea of most of the day being over by the time I'd be done running. I also had this itch to do that track workout from Wednesday. I debated switching my long run and track run but ultimately decided to do them as planned.

Pretty much from the beginning of the run I just felt bad. The first few miles weren't terrible but as soon as I was supposed to drop the pace I suddenly felt dizzy, tired, empty. I tried and tried but only went slower. Then I had a breakdown. I felt like a failure for not being able to push through and get it done. Truth be told I think I was more mentally tired than physically. I was tired from spending all week having internal arguments with myself. Tired from stressing out about the silliest of things. During Friday's run when things didn't go as planned I couldn't get myself to mentally push through.

On Saturday my boyfriend and I went to a local park to get in some mountain biking and trail running. For the first time in weeks I ran without looking at my watch. I wasn't even going to wear it but only did so I could make sure I didn't run too far. I ran on those trails not caring how fast or slow I was going. I walked when I wanted and just enjoyed being outside.

I love training and in general function better when I am training for something but lately I've been putting too focus on the numbers side of it. I love going to the track and doing challenging workouts and seeing how far I can push myself but I need to balance that with runs where pace doesn't matter. If I run fast, great. If not, I'll enjoy just being out there. My constant need for perfection and control has been haunting me too long.