Friday, March 1, 2013

Disordered Eating

If you've known me for some time you probably know that I have struggled with disordered eating habits since high school. I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder and I am very aware that EDs are very serious. I know several girls who have/had diagnosed eating disorders and I by no means am trying to group myself with those who have truly suffered. What I am saying is that my eating habits for quite some time now have not been normal and I want to do something about it. Something needs to be done about it.

When I was in high school I went from being underweight (I got tall but didn't put on any weight- normal growing problems) to gaining close to 10 pounds in a few months. I was on the young side in high school and this weight gain was completely normal for my age but I didn't handle it well. I was still pretty thin but seeing a higher number on the scale literally terrified me. At first I tried to starve myself to lose the weight that I had seemed to gain overnight. But when my weight didn't go down I started binge eating. I thought that I had no control over my weight and might as well eat a ton of food.

I should mention that I've always loved food. A lot. I remember once eating 11 pancakes for breakfast when I was 12 (?) like it was no big thing. I was a very hungry child but with the amount of swimming I did my weight was never an issue. And the majority of the foods I was eating were pretty healthy anyway. In high school I thought since I could eat a lot of food I thought I might as well should.

Long story long short, my eating habits have improved some but really not enough. I do not binge eat nearly as badly as I did in high school but I certainly eat too much. I've put on some weight since the fall that I am not okay with. I try to generally eat healthy (I don't eat any meat and minimal dairy) but when I come home from class I end up eating to the point that I feel well past full. Now this is not every day but it is enough that it is affecting other parts of my life.

The problem is I'm not really sure what to do. I've tried so many times to get out of this habit but it feels like the more I try the worse it gets. I am asking for help. I need to find a way to get through this in a healthy way.

I came across this article from Runner's World that I think does a really good job of explaining the differences from having an eating disorder and disordered eating as well as provide insight to the struggles that come along with disordered eating.

Have you ever struggled with disordered eating? How did you overcome it? Do you still struggle with it? Any advice?

1 comment :

  1. I was diagnosed with anorexia at 15 (began dieting at 13, though I wasn't really overweight). I was very thin and very sick/unhealthy. I recovered, but have suffered on & off over the years and still struggle at times and I just turned 40.

    The best advice I have is to find a good therapist who specializes in disordered eating and recognize that this may be a lifelong battle.

    Have you read Life Without Ed?