Taper Confessions

Ironman Lake Placid is exactly one week from today. That's seven days, people. Normally I would assume you know how many days are in a week but I am currently one week into taper and have lost all ability to put together coherent and logical thoughts. The taper crazies, as you may have heard them called, are out in full force. If you want proof, please consult the following list of things I have done or experienced in the last week.

• Lost any sort of an appetite. On Tuesday I ate an ear of corn and an orange for lunch and then tried to ride that evening.
• Went to sleep before 10pm more times in one week than I usually do in an entire year.
• Started craving hamburgers.. and I've been a vegetarian for six years.
• Had a dance party in the front yard with my dog because it was too nice out to be inside but I'd already done my ride. (You're welcome for the entertainment, neighbors)
• Avoided packing for both ironman and my move to Philly. Instead I made a list of all the things I need to bring with me. It currently reads "everything."
• Had a dream about the Guinness I'll be having post-ironman. 
• Developed the appetite of a football player. Gotta make up for all the food I missed out on earlier in the week right?
• Fell asleep at 10:15pm Saturday night, woke up ready for my morning run only to check the clock and see it was 11:35pm.
• Realized I've been riding with spare tubes that don't have long enough valve stems for my wheels. This might be the one useful thing I've accomplished during taper.
• Developed an annoying habit of responding to texts & messages in all caps. BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH EXTRA ENERGY.

So that's how taper is going so far, and I have a sneaking suspicion that things will only become more ridiculous over this next week. See ya soon, Lake Placid.