Once the semester started and work started piling up it became harder to find joy. I am a creature of habit and thrive off of control. I hate the unknown and not being able to control what will happen in the future. In order to fit in school, studying, my internship, training, my relationship and a social life I started planning everything. Down to what I would eat each day and when. I didn't leave any room for spontaneity.
I soon became aware of how miserable I truly was. I was treating myself like crap because I didn't think I deserved to be happy. I thought I was the reason when anything went wrong in my life. I blamed myself for fights, mistakes, you name it.
A few weeks ago I realized something needs to change. In the past few years I haven't gone after the things I love. I've given up hobbies and interests to please other people. I've let other people get in the way of my own happiness. What I've realized is that if you are happier as an individual, it will make you happier with other people. You can't expect to be a good girlfriend, sister, student, friend if you are not happy on your own.
So while yes, I do think it is important to try to find things that you enjoy doing with other people and doing the things that someone close to you wants to do even if you don't always want to, I think a key to being truly happy is to do what you love regardless of what others around you think.
Now that the semester is wrapping up and summer is upon us, I am taking the time to do the things that make me happy instead of waiting for someone else to make me happy. There have been far too many times when I've missed out on an opportunity because nobody else wanted to do it with me and so I bailed too. If you want to do something, do it.
Hi Shannon! I've definitely been where you are before. I've let stress and the fear of the unknown get the best of me. I'm glad to hear you're taking time to focus on creating your own happiness and doing what you want to do. I hope things are starting to look up!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear all of the wonderful things you do to make yourself happy! We all deserve it :)
ReplyDeleteI've been there, many times before. It's hard, that much I can attest to. At the end of the day you need to make sure you are happy, that matters most. I am engaged and we recently had a conversation about how we need to make sure that BOTH of us are happy (because things are no longer about individuals when you are planning a wedding and life together). I remember times when I was in the dating world and I let everything be centered around the other person or friends things. Don't fall into that trap, you're young it's time to be selfish and do what YOU need to do. Even later on in life, you have to make sure that you are happy and taken care of before other things.
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